Kyle & Jackie O Show
Kyle: Kyle & Jackie O Show. Hanson are back in the country, it’s always nice to see these guys!
Isaac: Helloooo.
Jackie O: Hi boys!
Kyle: Hi gentlemen, how are you? Are you well?
Isaac: We’re good.
Kyle: Now you guys are in no relation to Pauline Hanson, are you?
Isaac: No, not that we know of. Maybe some distant relation.
Kyle: We’ve got Pauline Hanson on the phone, we just thought we’d just introduce Hanson, our Australian version to the US version of Hanson. Hello Pauline!
Pauline: Hello Kyle, how are ya?
Kyle: Very good, now Jackie’s here and also all the boys from Hanson.
Pauline: Hi Jackie!
Jackie O: Hi Pauline! Now Pauline – I know that whenever – cos you guys used to come to the country people would say, “Now are you aware of Pauline Hanson?” So now you’re fully aware of what Pauline is about by now?
Zac: We’ve heard of her a couple times.
Taylor: We know that you’re a mean dancer.
Pauline: Yeah.
Isaac: And a fish & chips owner.
Kyle: Do you still own the fish & chips shop, they want to know.
Pauline: Oh, golly, look. This fish & chips shop, I’ll tell you what. That went in 1997. They told ya, I’ve been in parliament, I’ve been in prison, I’ve done some dancing, I’ve done a bit of singing, but I keep telling everyone, my singing is as good as my dancing.
Kyle: Yeah, we know, you’ve sung on our show, remember? I keep forgetting that you’ve been in jail, like what do you think of the Shappelle Corby thing, while we’re here, while we’ve got you here. What do you think of Shappelle Corby being in jail?
Pauline: I am absolutely disgusted with it. What makes me so mad about it is that people are openly selling drugs on the street and she’s getting a 20 year sentence, jail term, and they haven’t proven anything that she’s guilty of it except the fact that some of the legislation that says that if you’re in possession of it. And 20 years, my god, I just cried when I heard.
Kyle: I cried too, and I’m a tough man.
Isaac: I got a question though, on one of the morning talk shows though I believe it was yesterday, there was a journalist – I believe it was Sunrise or something like this, and one of the journalists said, “I have to say I was only there for the verdict but I talked to 15 journalists who were there the whole entire time, independent journalists from Australia, and they all said in confidence that, off the record, that they thought she was completely guilty.”
Jackie O: Really?
Isaac: Yeah, yeah.
Kyle: Journalists…
Zac: They’re probably the ones buying it!
Kyle: Yeah, exactly. What we’ve got you on the phone, Pauline, we want to do a competition. Hanson vs Hanson. You up for this Pauline?
Pauline: Oh, go for it.
Kyle: Hanson boys, you up for this?
Isaac: Sure, why not?
Zac: I was born ready for this.
Jackie O: Born ready for this, to challenge Pauline.
Taylor: Pauline, she seems like mean competition.
Jackie O: Well, she is. The way this competition is going to work is we’re going to ask 3 questions to Pauline and then we’re going to ask the same 3 questions to Hanson and whoever has the best stories to tell is the winner, and Kyle and I are the judges.
Kyle: Okay, we’ll do that next. 13 10 60 if you want to give us a call for Last Call. Hanson. What’s wrong, Pauline, you sound a little bit nervous all of the sudden.
Pauline: It’s just only me against those three guys.
Jackie O: We reckon you’ve got some stories to tell.
Kyle: One of the questions are, if you find yourself in jail… would you, A… How much ahead would you be in then?
Taylor: There you go. We haven’t actually been in jail.
Kyle: Hanson vs Hanson next on the Kyle & Jackie O Show.
*
Kyle: It’s the Kyle & Jackie O Show. The boys from Hanson, they’re in town, they’ve obviously got their brand new single out, it is fantastic.
Jackie O: And the album!
Kyle: They’re touring around Australia at the moment now promoting the album Underneath, which is out right now in all good shops. Pauline Hanson on the phone. No CD out, no tour announcement yet, but stand by. It’s on the way.
Pauline: She’s here to do the challenge. The challenge is, we’re going to ask 3 questions to Pauline and then we’re going to ask the same 3 questions to the boys of Hanson and whoever has the best stories to tell is our winner.
Kyle: That’s right. It’s called Hanson vs Hanson here at the Kyle & Jackie O Show.
Jackie O: Okay, let’s do Pauline Hanson first. Okay, Pauline, first question – the best celebrity encounter that you’ve ever had.
Kyle: Oh yes, or anyone else, not just childhood, any sort of celebrity rubbing we’ll take.
Pauline: Okay, that’ll have to be Peter Eustanoff.
Kyle: Who?
Pauline: Peter Eustanoff.
Kyle: Eustanoff.
Pauline: Yeah, he was a famous English actor.
Kyle: Oh, come on, we’re talking big time here!
Pauline: He was actually doing a documentary on world politics so he actually came out to Australia to interview me. He was very negative towards me when he first met me, I don’t know what he’d heard through the media…
Kyle: He would have heard that you don’t like aboriginals and Asians, which is unfounded!
Pauline: Who knows! But by the end of it he was very impressed and he said, “See you in England.” So anyway, it was really good.
Kyle: So, Peter Eusta—eusta--eeh.
Pauline: No, you don’t know who it is, you’re too young.
Jackie O: Okay, #2: the meanest thing you’ve ever done to a family member.
Kyle: Oh, this will be a beauty.
Pauline: Look, the only thing I can think of is my sister, she was sitting quietly on the beach making sand castles and all the rest and I have a picture of this – and apparently when I was 3 I came up and poured water over her head.
Kyle: That’s not the meanest thing! You’ve dulled us down Pauline!
Pauline: It’s traumatized me for the rest of my life.
Kyle: You’ve dulled us down. Wasn’t there like, a bitch slap at Christmas or something like that that went on?
Pauline: Listen, I was a great kid. I was no trouble.
Taylor: Hey, lay off. She’s a good citizen.
Jackie O: Pauline Hanson, how do you think you will die?
Kyle: Oh, talk about going out on the big question.
Taylor: Okay, but what’s the question?
Pauline: I hope it’s not on ** show, cos I couldn’t handle that.
Kyle: What about bowel cancer?
Isaac: Or I guess you could say, how she wants to die?
Pauline: Does it matter how I think or how I wish I would?
Jackie O: How do you think you will die?
Pauline: This is a terrible question, pick another one.
Jackie O: No, come on.
Kyle: It’s too late, it’s too late to pick another one. I think I will die in a pelican accident where I will be windsailing on the Sydney Harbor and a pelican will fly straight into me and pierce me through the ribs.
Taylor: They’re known to do that. Dive bomb.
Kyle: Dive bombing pelicans, really bad.
Jackie O: Oh Pauline you’ve brought him down on that question, let’s give Hanson a go now.
Kyle: Same 3 questions to the boys of Hanson here.
Jackie O: I’m not sure if it’s going to be very hard to beat there, but let’s see how they go.
Kyle: We’re going for the most creative answer. You guys are in a pretty good spot at this stage.
Taylor: I don’t know though.
Jackie O: Okay, here you go – your best celebrity encounter? Who’s gonna answer that one?
Zac: I was gonna answer that one. One of my favorite celebrity encounters was, we got invited to the showing of the first new Star Wars…
Isaac: Episode I.
Zac: We met his daughter and she walked us up to him and said, “I want you to meet my dad.” So she brought us up to George Lucas, she goes, “These are the guys from Hanson,” and he goes, “I know.” George Lucas knows who we are!
Taylor: We all said to ourselves – cos we’re all Star Wars freaks who grew up with all that – “We’ve reached the top!” And Zac actually spent the whole movie sitting next to him.
Kyle: Wow, so were you trying to chime in on the girl? How old was the daughter?
Zac: About my age.
Kyle: Oh, perfect! I think that beats the used-to-be-famous-dude, whoever Pauline said. I think George Lucas beats Eustanoff.
Pauline: It’s a matter of opinion, isn’t it?
Isaac: We could throw in Paul McCartney or The Edge and a few others.
Jackie O: Alright, next question. Meanest thing you’ve ever done to a family member.
Taylor: Well, I’ve been sitting here thinking about this, and it’s actually difficult. Things that involve explosions or just sticky substances, which ones would you guys prefer?
Kyle: Explosions!
Taylor: Explosions, well, we’re really into fireworks in Oklahoma, there’s lots of fireworks.
Kyle: They’re banned here.
Taylor: Yeah, well, they’re not banned in Oklahoma. You can buy them by the crate.
Isaac: We can blow stuff up!
Taylor: We’d get whole packs of what they called Black Cats, which are these really loud – but all they are is gun powder, whole pack of them.
Kyle: Yeah, they’re just gun powder!
Taylor: And there was a guy, like our second cousin, we had a big family reunion and we had a bunch of these firecrackers and just kind of walked up, slipped a little in the back of his shorts, BAM!
Isaac: How many was that?
Taylor: I have several friends who’ve done this and I don’t know if maybe it’s just too much time in the fields of Oklahoma.
Kyle: It doesn’t actually blow their asses off?
Taylor: It doesn’t actually blow their ass of but it burns like hell.
Kyle: It would, too, the shock and the sting of it!
Isaac: Serious bruising.
Taylor: Not to mention, it’s just shocking.
Kyle: And what did you do again Pauline? Oh, she poured water over her sister’s sandcastle.
Jackie O: But apparently it scarred her for life.
Taylor: But hers was much more deeply rooted…
Kyle: Sinister…
Taylor: It was a little more sinister.
Kyle: Premeditated, even.
Isaac: It’s like the difference between manslaughter and premeditated murder.
Kyle: Exactly right, okay, question #3.
Jackie O: Alright, you’re going to have to answer this Isaac cos you haven’t answered one yet. How do you think you will die?
Isaac: Well, I actually really like Kyle’s idea. Paled by a pelican.
Zac: Probably we will end up getting run off the road by a crazy fan trying to follow us.
Isaac: Yeah, exactly. That’s probably true. That’s probably true.
Taylor: But you really want the headline to be, “Isaac HANSON: KILLED BY PELICAN.”
Kyle: Or a shoot out or something like that!
Isaac: Actually yeah, I’ll go with that. Some punk ass jerk is going to challenge me to a duel.
Kyle: Yeah, some punk ass jerk like 50 Cent and the Game, there’s going to be a shootout at the front of a radio station.
Taylor: Yeah, that’d be cool.
Zac: Maybe in Australia somewhere.
Taylor: Would you guys arrange that?
Kyle: So long as it’s not this radio station!
Pauline: You can’t have a shootout here, they’ve taken all our guns away from us.
Kyle: Oh, Pauline doesn’t like that either!
Zac: Clubbing! It’ll be a clubbing!
Taylor: You know Pauline, you should come over to Oklahoma and we’ll blow some stuff up… we’ve got a few side arms and things like that.
Jackie O: Oh Pauline, listen, I hate to break it to you but I think we’re going to award the best stories to Hanson. And Hanson’s new album out now, Underneath. Thanks guys for joining us.
Kyle: All the Hanson’s in one room! Pauline and the Hanson boys joining us from American. Bye Pauline!
Jackie O: Bye, see you guys. Thanks again for joining us.
Transcript written by Heidi
Transcript written by Heidi
Sydney, Australia
30 May 2005